Let me first start by saying that I am 100% me. I don’t pretend to be anything I am not, and I am not changing for anyone. Like it or leave it. I stand for what I believe. I speak my mind. I am not perfect, but I am authentic. So, as you read this opening remark, you might be saying to yourself: “Isn’t that a direct contradiction of the title of this article? Let me explain….
I used to confuse the phrase “it changed me” with a derogatory annotation. You see, change is not necessarily a bad thing. Especially when it comes to positive changes that coincide with traditional principles. Hence when I say I am 100% me, that is saying my beliefs did not change. When I started my journey to embark on my own business, it was during a time of my life where I was really searching for a lot. Both personally and professionally. I spent the better part of a year trying to figure things out. Most of which I had to do alone. And like a light switch that just clicks, it became clear to me.
A mentor of mine once said that you have earned the right. He read something along the way that stated that when we work hard, we earn the right. Success or failure, if hard work comes into play, we earn the right. Just as we earn the right to get to know people we help; we earn the right to get to know more people and help more people. We earn the right to take a breath after we have completed a project just as we earn the right to say “I have had enough” after a long day. I can sit here and say all day long that I did all the right things and always made the right decisions, but I earned the right to make mistakes just as I have earned the right to celebrate my successes. A mistake that makes you humble is way better than an achievement that makes you arrogant.
When I say it changed me, I mean that becoming so hard on yourself during times of trial and adversity, you begin to realize that you tend to focus on how to change positively without compromising who you really are. A year ago, I would have never started my own business, went out on my own, or risked the uncertainty of a career based on risk if I forgot everything and ran. Instead, I faced everything and rose. And by saying that, I mean taking the latter of those options with FEAR. Life experiences knocked me down a peg and allowed me to reflect that the only way I could do what I was meant to do and be happy with that decision was to take the advice my father gave me, the same advice I give my son every night before he goes to bed and “be a better man”.
As soon as I started realizing my potential never changed, I just forgot it was there for a while, I started to escalate focus. I started my own company. I became an entrepreneur through consulting. And I established legitimacy as a COO with a small company renowned in the tri-state area. My fuel and determination came through isolation and desire. I read, I studied, I learned, and I fought. As a matter of fact, I still fight every day. But it’s a good fight. One that does not affect my daily performance, nor does it prevent me from enjoying what I do. It’s the fight of not reverting. You see, it changed me to believe that while I was good before, I can be great now. We do not grow when things are easy, we grow when we face challenges. My worst battle became what I knew and what I felt. So, I started shifting my attention towards others and how I could help them. And in that shift, I learned a very important lesson. Telling people, they are appreciated is one of the simplest and most uplifting things that a person can hear. By doing this, controlling the actions of others and worrying about the outcome became less important in comparison to the excitement of the journey and the loyalty that started coming from other hearts. When you cannot control what is happening in life, I found that controlling how I would respond to what happens is where my true power came from.
In short, it changed me just gave me the positive mind to start finding the opportunity in everything. I wasn’t born great. Great people aren’t born great. We grow to be great. It changed me because sometimes God sometimes just must wreck your course or plan. I found that appreciating this detour makes the fight fun. Making this radical shift in my life was scary. But once I believed those roadblocks in my life were there to send me to places, I belong, I became more confident in following that detour. That pulled my heart. It was always there. Once I started following it, I began to realize that it is now taking me to places I am perfectly destined to be.